When championing student success, it’s only natural to encourage parental involvement. After all, parents engaging with their children’s school can positively affect the student’s grades, behavior, and even their self-confidence. However, working with parents does not always go smoothly as parent-teacher conflict is seemingly inevitable.
According to the Pew Research Center, 40% of teachers stated parents communicated disrespectfully with them, and 24% reported contact from parents who disagreed with the class curriculum.
As conflict with parents is a regular part of the educational landscape, principals must help their staff prepare for these challenging discussions.
Preparing for the Conversation
Addressing conflict with parents requires both logistical and mental preparation. Logistical preparation is the most expected known one, as it includes finding the proper location and gathering any relevant information for the discussion. However, mental preparation is just as important. Leading up to the parent-teacher meeting, take the time to visit with the teacher and discuss the goal of the conversation to help them focus on remediating the problems at hand. Note that the parent might respond emotionally or irrationally, so provide guidance on staying objective during these heated moments.
Setting Ground Rules for Productive Conversations
Some discussions might be too heavy for the teacher to handle on their own, in which case it may be necessary for a principal to mediate the conversation. In these situations, it is best to begin the meeting by setting boundaries to encourage productive communication, ensuring that each party can share their peace.
For example, the principal can set rules that include listening without interrupting to foster respect and then focusing on the issue at hand instead of the person to avoid the risk of personal attacks. If deemed necessary, principals can also determine specific time limits for speaking to avoid either party dominating the conversation.
Active Listening Techniques:
During these difficult discussions, it is essential to make sure the parent feels heard and understood. Thus, principals and teachers must make a concerted effort to not just listen to the parent but to show that they’re listening. Through active listening techniques, principals and teachers can make it clear that the parent’s concerns are being taken respected.
While preparing for the meeting, keep in mind these helpful active listening strategies:
- Paraphrasing: Let the parents know they have been heard by paraphrasing what they said to confirm understanding.
- Physical and Verbal Affirmations: Using small gestures such as nodding or using the occasional “yes” or “I see” can show engagement and help the parent feel respected.
- No Distractions: Plan for minimal distractions to give the parents full attention while they speak. Make sure phones are on silent or put away.
Resolving with Empathy:
When managing parent-teacher conflict, even if emotions are only running high side, it’s important to manage these types of responses effectively. One way is by demonstrating empathy, which includes validating their feelings and acknowledging their emotions are understandable. It also helps to ask open-ended questions to give the parent more room to share their perspective and foster a deeper understanding of their side of the situation.
In the case where the conversation continues to escalate, the education leader running the meeting must be prepared with de-escalation techniques. These can include speaking in a lower tone and ensuring body language remains calm and unaggressive.
Emotions may run high, but by focusing on finding a resolution, the meeting can be productive with both parties carrying a deeper understanding of each other.
Following Up After the Discussion:
After the initial meeting, following up is crucial to ensure actions are being taken to reach a resolution. After a few days or weeks, check in with the parents on how progress is being made and see if any adjustments are needed. By following up with the parents, principals, and teachers are reinforcing that the conversation wasn’t just a one-time discussion but part of an ongoing effort to resolve issues and improve collaboration.
Turning Conflict into Growth
Effectively managing parent-teacher conflicts requires a strategic approach that involves preparation, active listening, empathy, and follow-up. By equipping staff with the tools to handle difficult conversations, principals can foster a collaborative environment where both teachers and parents feel heard and respected. Through these efforts, schools can turn challenging discussions into opportunities for growth, ensuring student success remains the top priority.
