If you’re a school principal, you know this all too well: It’s spring or summer, and suddenly your inbox is overflowing with parent requests. Some are heartfelt, thoughtful, and rooted in genuine concern for a child’s learning style or past experiences. Others are, well … a little out there.
From asking to move the entire band concert to winter break for a family vacation, to requesting you personally brew daily coffee for a student’s ADHD, some parent requests defy all logic — and yet, they still land squarely on your plate.
So how do you, as a school leader, respond to this ever-growing wave of expectations, while still maintaining order, equity, and your sanity?
Why Parents Make Requests
At its core, most parent requests come from a place of care. Parents want their child to be understood, nurtured, and successful. They may have had a wonderful experience with a teacher in the past or heard glowing reviews from other families. They may also have genuine concerns based on social dynamics, special needs, or even trauma.
However, what many don’t see are the complex decisions behind class placements. Principals work tirelessly to ensure balanced classrooms based on gender, academic levels, behavior, special education needs, language support, and student-to-student dynamics. Even before any requests are considered, creating these lists can take hours — per grade.
Adding dozens of parent preferences to the mix? It’s a recipe for chaos and inequity.
The Case for a Clear Policy
This is why many school leaders are shifting toward firm, transparent placement policies. A strong policy communicates that while families are welcome to share information about their child’s learning style or emotional needs, specific teacher requests are not guaranteed — and often not allowed at all.
Some districts go further by implementing blind or random placement processes, where teachers build balanced classroom groups without names attached. Administrators then match the teachers to each group. Others allow families to submit a formal request with a clear deadline and guidelines for what constitutes a valid concern.
No matter the method, the key is consistency and transparency. If exceptions are made behind closed doors, it invites confusion, frustration, and even accusations of favoritism.
When the Requests Get … Weird
Then there’s the wild side of the job: the absurd, inappropriate, or outright hilarious parent requests that make educators question reality.
Consider these real examples shared online:
- A parent asked the music teacher to slow down the tempo for her child — while the rest of the band played full speed — and to hold the baton until her child caught up.
- One teacher was handed a toaster, bread, peanut butter, and jelly — with instructions to make sandwiches daily, despite it being against fire code.
- Another was asked to change their voice because the parent didn’t like their tone.
- One mother asked an administrator to have the bus that picks her son up to wake him up for school since he always slept in.
- A parent requested a principal to climb a tree and retrieve a backpack her son had launched 30 feet into the branches.
*Examples from Reddit and Teacher Misery
Yes, these are real. And no, they’re not in the job description.
While these requests might be laughable in hindsight, they also highlight the need for boundaries and professionalism. Schools are not full-service concierge businesses, and educators are not personal assistants, therapists, or short-order cooks.
How to Respond with Grace
When you receive a request — reasonable or otherwise — pause before reacting. Even the most bewildering comments come from a place of concern or miscommunication. A few strategies that work:
- Acknowledge the concern — Let the parent know you’ve heard them.
- Clarify the policy — Reference any written guidelines your school or district has in place.
- Set boundaries — Be firm but professional: “I’m not able to accommodate that request, but here’s what I can do…”
- Document communication — When a request goes off the rails, looping in your superintendent or creating a paper trail can be invaluable.
Leading with Fairness
Ultimately, the goal is equity and consistency. Classrooms should be built with all students in mind — not just the ones with the most vocal parents. When policies are transparent and implemented fairly, it enables you to lead with confidence and compassion — while also knowing when to say no (even to the parent asking if you can plan a petting zoo birthday party inside a classroom).
